Wednesday came as any normal Wednesday, a day busy with planning and study, a day in which starts with the best of intentions to knock off most of the checklist only to find the checklist growing as the day goes on. One of my greatest realizations as a pastor is that being organized is important, and a schedule is a must, but be prepared to change your schedule at any given notice. Wednesdays are usually very different though, people respect the fact that I have to study and prepare for the evening lesson, so Wednesday's schedule is fairly set in stone. That is until this past Wednesday; I received a phone call early in the morning from my dad's place of employment. My dad calls pretty often to check up on the baby to see how he is doing, to hear him laugh, etc. Dad asked about the baby and then asked me about my plans for the afternoon. Naturally, I thought that maybe he and my step-mom wanted to come down and have dinner or a late lunch, but instead, Dad simply told me that he was taking off to pick cherries, but only if I was able to come along. My mind raced. I will be completely honest, my dad and I at times have had a very strained relationship, we have gone months without talking (both our faults), and it seemed that during my teenage years, my dad and I distanced ourselves from one another. There was always love there, but that great friendship that existed between a father and son had cooled and became nearly frigid at times. I think this is the case with many father and son relationships, we as men are tough as nails, and non-emotional (or at least that is how we are programmed to be). My dad and I are closer now than ever before, and I credit much of this to me growing up and doing "adult things" like having a house and garden, being married, having a child, etc. Dad and I have a lot more in common, we talk flowers and vegetables, we talk sports and construction projects, and even the best methods to grill, but I honestly couldn't remember a time when Dad and I did something alone like pick cherries, it must have been years, maybe even little league age. I looked at my calendar and what needed to get done that afternoon and I almost told Dad "I'm too busy" but instead I shut the calendar, said this can wait and told my dad that I would be thrilled to go and pick cherries with him. I was honored that my dad would take off work early to spend time with me, just me (not the baby included). Now that might not sound like much to some reading this, but just "male bonding" time with my dad was something foreign, something that was needed. Dad came by around one and we headed to an orchard in our era named Orr's (I highly suggest this orchard).
As we drove we talked about life, houses, bills, fruits, trees, etc. We arrived at the orchard and started to pick strawberries and then a tractor picked us up and took us out into the cherry orchard to pick cherries. Together we picked somewhere around thirty pounds of cherries, but something greater than cherries was achieved that day, a bond was fortified. I looked at my father with the greatest of admiration, sadly something that I have failed to do through most of my young life. I always looked at the traits of my dad that I didn't want, but now I notice the traits that I want in my life, and the shock to me is that many of the traits that I want to strive for were at one point and time the traits in which I never wanted! I can honestly say that in that cherry orchard on Wednesday that my dad and I renewed a relationship that hadn't grown the way it should have or at least the way it was intended to grow in Christ. Tears almost came to my eyes as I sat at home and dwelt on it afterward, making me regretful for the hateful things that I said to my dad in my younger fury, for the months of silence, for the lack of respect that I paid unto him. Now I wasn't a horrible son, a matter of fact if you ask my dad he will tell you that I never gave him trouble, but I know in the depths of my heart that I caused that man pain, heartache, and confusion.......but isn't that the case of a man. A man's duty seems to be that of bearing the full weight of the world and yet never showing it, never shedding a tear in front of the public eye, never flinching or showing worry. A man simply says "Everything is ok" when in the depths of his heart he knows it isn't. It is his duty to be the knight in shining armor for his family, it is his duty to protect the family name and the integrity of the family unit. These are all duties of fatherhood that I never fully grasped until holding my little boy. I look deep into Noah's eyes and I see a handsome boy, I see my son. Yes, he does give Tiffanie and I a hard time on occasion, but I look past that and I say he causes me no trouble. The work of a man is a thankless job, a matter of fact a job in which we receive more flack than respect!
To be a father is to be many things, things like a coach, a hard worker, a provider, a runner, and a fixer of all different things, you have to throw a ball, shot some hoops, you have to give sound advice on subjects that you feel uncomfortable with, and most of all you are called as a dad to be the spiritual leader of your household. What a burden to bear! Personally being a father is one of the greatest tasks God has ever given, but it also bears a tremendous amount of responsibility and a task that can only rely upon the Lord for understanding and wisdom. Fatherhood is the greatest blessing, but it can also cause us the greatest heartache! God also tells us as a father what we need to be doing, Paul in Ephesians 6:4 tells us to raise our children in the fear, training, and admonition of the Lord, WHAT A HEAVY BURDEN TO BEAR! We as dads are called to raise our children in a God-honoring way, without excuse! If God was so gracious to give unto you an heritage (child), then the least we can do is to properly raise that child, to train them up in the way they should go! Proverbs teaches us that if we raise our children properly that they will be life unto us, but beloved if we do not raise our children correctly then we are bound to fail and instead of life being passed down unto them we only pass to them death! Moses was told by God while wandering these words
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:
5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
~ Deut. 6:4-9
Fathers, let me encourage you, be obedient unto the Lord, and teach your children diligently out of God's Word. Teach them how they should live and to whom they are under authority. Use your life as a shining example unto them. Continue to hold fast to the Words of the Bible, be faithful to your Church, support your pastor, pray often, and let your child "catch you" praying or reading the Word! But beyond this, make time for your child, no matter how old they might be. Who knows, a trip to the cherry orchard might change your entire perspective on your father/son relationship!
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