Untangling Grief

 

Untangling Grief at Christmas 

      There are certain traditions during the Christmas season that are exciting. The childlike anticipation is almost palpable. There are some things about the Christmas season that are incredibly frustrating though, one of them being the yearly struggle of untangling Christmas lights. I’m sure all of you can think of moments when the spirit of Christmas present became a spirit of Christmas struggle. You pull out a tote full of Christmas lights and you are already regretting the decision. Each year when you take the lights down, you had the good intentions of organizing them, but each winter season reminds you that you didn’t do a very good job of being prepared for the next season. The lights are incredibly frustrating because they are a tangled mess. To complicate matters further it’s usually freezing cold when we put the lights up, making it even more difficult to untangle them. It reminds me of the Bob Rivers song the 12 pains of Christmas. The second day of Christmas was always talking about rigging up those lights. I can remember a time with my wife and I were trying to untangle the lights and they were all one big bundle. Multiple strands intertwined. The worlds most gifted surgeon wouldn’t have been able to operate on them. Christmas lights became mission impossible. And we ended up going to the store to purchase all new lights.

      Those Christmas lights remind me of the reality of grief during the holiday season, especially for me since I recently lost the love of my life. You’re in the mist of what supposed to be a time of excitement, but instead you find yourself almost adrift, even overwhelmed, maybe even to the point where you don’t want to celebrate. You look at the Christmas season as that big huge ball of tangled lights. Untangling the emotions of grief is overbearing. You have emotions like sorrow, bitterness, doubt, sadness, denial, joy, relief, and a million other emotions bearing down on you like freight trains, traveling full speed. Grief is hard all the time, but especially during the Christmas season. Everyone else is enjoying their Christmas festivities, they’re enjoying the spirit of the season, meanwhile, you feel like you are at a pause. Like Time has stopped moving forward for you. You see happy couples and jealousy overwhelms you because you miss your loved one. Thankfully the Bible is not quiet on the subject of grief. The Savior and the Scriptures are well acquainted with grief and sorrow. Psalm 119:28 says my soul melts away for sorrow, strengthen me according to your word. I think it’s unique that the Psalmist mentions the soul in regards to sorrow. Grief affects the deepest part of us, it affects the eternal part of us, the part of us that lives on in one of two eternal destinations. I think that’s what makes grief so unique of an emotion. It’s not just a temporal physical emotion, but it affects us in such a deep way that it touches our soul. Holding on the grief is like holding on to the tangled Christmas lights. It’s frustrating at times, we want to get through it quickly, but it requires tenderness and patience. But grief is more of a marathon versus a sprint. It’s not about who gets done first, to be honest with you grieving is a lifelong process. It’s not something that you merely get over. You’re grieving for a reason, not just a season. You’re grieving because you lost somebody that you love and care for, making the grief worth it. To trade in grief would be trading in the love we had for somebody. And it wouldn’t be an equal trade. I would rather grieve intensely because of how I love somebody, than to have nobody to grieve over at all. So yes, the emotions get all tangled together, but by the grace of God, He helps balance us out. He allows, grief, and emotion. His Son was perfectly acquainted with, but He also brings us joy and comfort through the Holy Spirit. So for those of you, that are grieving, grieve. But don’t grieve as a people with no hope. For those of you who have friends of yours that are grieving, grieve with them. Give them an extra ounce of grace during the Christmas season. And maybe help them untangle the emotional bundle that they currently handle. Trust me, they need it.

What's the Big Deal?

Colossians 2:9

November 7th Devotional

      On this day in 680, 43 bishops convened in the imperial palace of Constantinople to debate a religious doctrine that was rapidly spreading.  This meeting would later become known as the Third Council of Constantinople.  This was the smallest gathering out of the major councils that helped determine the basis for Orthodoxy in Christianity.  The church was fragile in the mid 600’s and was seeking identity.  The religion of Islam was rapidly growing and becoming a genuine threat.  Many areas that were previously ‘Christian’ quickly fell under the flag of Islam.  The church as a whole was splintered as there was tremendous tension between the “western” church and the “eastern” church due to theological disagreements.  The church felt pressure to be united but in their attempt, they were willing to forsake Bible doctrine.  These compromises were a menace that caused the church to be divided and weak.  Emperor Constantine IV oversaw the meeting with hopes of settling some of the major differences that were rising.  This ten-month debate revolved around two new doctrines that were being propagated, monoenergism and monothelitism.  These complicated words mean that while the churches had agreed that Christ had two natures, the human and the divine (the God-Man), there was a question of Christ’s ‘energy’ and His will.  Did Christ have one will or two wills?  Was His will merely divine or was it like His nature, both divine and human?  This might not seem like a huge issue in our time but the church had five previous councils that each debated Christ’s relation to God the Father and the balance of His humanity and deity.   These previous councils were built on great scenes of passion and discussion.  Heretics abounded and it was of the utmost importance to have the right doctrinal teaching.  There could not be a tolerance for any ‘false teaching.’  After eighteen sessions the bishops concluded that Christ had two wills, both in perfect unity and accord, a human one and a divine one, though the human will was subject to the divine will.  The argument was basically if Christ has two natures, human and divine, then He must also have two ‘wills’ or else that would deprive Him of His full humanity.

      One might ask, why was this council of such value?  The value was to solidify our Christological doctrines.  We must teach correctly on who Jesus is.  The Bible unquestionably teaches that Jesus is both 100% God and 100% man.  In Colossians, we read that “For in him (Jesus) the whole fulness of deity dwells bodily (Colossians 2:9).  The deity of Christ matters.  If He was merely a man, a good teacher, a prophet, etc then He was also a liar when He told the people in John’s Gospel account “Before Abraham was, I AM (John 8:58).  Christ also could not just be just a man because that would destroy the understanding of His incarnation.  John 1:14 says that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14).  Jesus, being 100% God, took on flesh (100% man).  We cannot divorce those Biblical truths.  Christ undeniably affirms His deity and humanity over and over in Scripture.  We need to rejoice in our spiritual fathers who bravely stood firm on Bible truth, even when it would have been alluring to compromise.  We need to rejoice in their efforts to study the Word.  May our hearts take peace in settled theology.  May our hearts also be convicted to spend quality time in God’s Word to behold the truths before our very eyes.

Releasing Resentment: November 2nd Devotional

Releasing Resentment 

Ephesians 4:31-32

November 2nd Devotional

      On this day in 1880, James Garfield was elected as the 20th president of the United States.  James was the youngest of five children.  He was born in a log cabin in Ohio and would end up being the last of the log cabin presidents.  His father died after saving the family farm from a raging wildfire.  James was only two at the time.   His father’s death caused the family to suffer through abject poverty.  Childhood was extremely difficult for James.  He was often picked on and found comfort by reading for countless hours.  Books became his best friends.  His love for reading formed a love for learning in general.  He excelled in college, especially in the subjects of Latin, Greek, and mathematics.  He worked as a janitor, preacher, and canal man to pay off his education.  Garfield remains the only president who was an ordained pastor.  His faith would continue to grow throughout his life.  He was in church so often that his future assassin thought about attacking him at church.  He would continue his education, later becoming the president of Hiram College.  But politics drew him from full-time ministry and the education field.  He joined the newly formed Republican party because of its aversion to slavery.  He was elected to the Ohio Legislature in 1859.  While serving he joined the Union effort during the Civil War.  He proved to be a very distinguished soldier during the Tennessee theater of the war.  He served so well that he was named a Major General.  After the war he continued to serve in the House of Representatives, fighting for reconstruction.  The Republican convention convened in 1880 and Garfield wasn’t supposed to be a nominee, but his speakers enchanted those that were in attendance.  James argued against his nomination but after thirty-six ballots he became the dark horse candidate.  His excellent oratory skills helped him defeat his Democratic opponent, Winfield Scott Hancock (a fellow Union General).  He was by a narrow 11,000 votes, less than .1% more than his opponent.  Garfield’s tenure started with great promise. He also happened to be the first left handed president. He was a strong leader and an excellent speaker, but his presidency was cut short when Charles J. Guiteau shot the president twice.  His primary motivation was resentment for not being offered a position to serve under Garfield.  James suffered for weeks until he succumbed to an infection.  He served a mere 199 days, marking his presidency as the second shortest.

      James Garfield’s life was cut short because someone was resentful.  Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping that it harms someone else.  We’ve all felt that powerful emotion.  We have felt robbed, unfairly treated, ignored, overlooked.  It might be a job where we aren’t given a promotion or a scorned love, or maybe we feel like others have taken advantage of us.  What do we do when those dark thoughts creep into our mind?  Do we allow them to take our mind captive?  Instead, we are to put them away.  Paul told the church of Ephesus “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:31-32).”  Paul powerfully says put this away.  Bitterness, wrath, anger, etc cannot be tolerated in the life of the Christian.  Yes, we might be disappointed, and yes we might feel scorned, but that does not give us a license to allow those emotions to overwhelm our lives.  We need to put them away.  Most of us are putting away summer clothes during this month because we won’t need shorts and swimming trunks.  They aren’t needed.  The same can be said about resentment, we put it away because we don’t need it.  It doesn’t benefit it, it only harms us.  Instead, Paul says to be kind, tenderhearted, and to forgive.  Those are the harder things to do.  It causes us to take our focus off who offended us and instead to have the mind of Christ.  The next time feelings of bitterness or resentment wash over your soul, put them away, right away.  Put on kindness and love.  There are no regrets when we love like Jesus.  

Sparking the Flame: October 31st Devotional

Sparking the Flame

Ephesians 2:8

October 31st Devotional

      On this day in 1517, an obscure German Monk named Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the church door at Wittenberg Castle.  Luther was born to wealthy parents in 1483.  His family wanted him to be a lawyer, but after a near-death experience, Luther felt that God was calling him to be a monk.  Luther joined an Augustinian Monastery and would go on to achieve his doctorate in Biblical studies.  During this time, the Scriptures started becoming more readily available in the common tongue, along with the writings of various church fathers.  Luther began to pour over the scriptures and was quickly convinced of the erroneous teachings within the Roman Catholic Church.  The 95 theses were in essence an invitation for public debate on the subjects they contained.  His two primary arguments against the Roman Catholic Church was the selling of indulgences and that salvation was by grace alone.  The selling of indulgences had been common practice since the ninth century.  The selling of indulgences included performing certain acts that would ‘absolve’ someone of their sins.  One example would be when Pope Urban II remitted anyone’s sins who fought in the Crusades.  More commonly a person was asked to perform an act or purchase something from the church and in return the priest would provide the person with a slip of paper reducing someone’s time in purgatory, or forgiving them of their own sin.  While the selling of indulgences is illegal in our time, they are still provided for people who do good works for the Roman Catholic Church.  Luther’s other primary argument was salvation by works.  For countless centuries the Roman Catholic Church taught that salvation was found only in the church and was only attainable by works.  His 95 Theses spread rapidly in Germany and eventually came to the pope in Rome.  Over the course of the next four years, Martin Luther was labeled as a heretic, the church demanded that he recant, and eventually, he was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church, thus the church condemned Luther to hell.  Luther would live out the next thirty years of his life challenging the Roman Catholic Church, even under the threat of harm and death.  He even dedicated himself to translating the Scriptures into German for the common man, a task that took him over ten years to complete.

      Luther was the spark for the Protestant Reformation and the breaking of the Catholic stronghold on the world.  We are ‘children’ of that great fire that swept forth.  The Protestant Reformation is one of the greatest miracles in history.  Luther dared to stand up to the most powerful men of his time and declared “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8).”  Today we echo Martin Luther’s revolutionary thought, we are saved solely by God’s grace.  We are not saved by any works, effort, morality, religion, or good that we possess.  We are saved only by the finished work of Jesus Christ on the Cross and the faith that we place in Him.  It seems odd that there was a period when that theological truth was contested and standing against it meant the possibility of harm.  A time may come when the world will move away from salvation by grace alone.  We need more “Martin Luther’s” who will stand on the truth of salvation by grace.  Today, rejoice that God saves unconditionally.  Rejoice that He made salvation simple.  Rejoice that it’s not based on what you and I do, but based on what Christ has done.

Reflections at the Beach: A Sunset Ending

 

Picture Credit: My beloved wife Tiffanie.  This is taken as 

drove over the Bay Bridge.  She would tragically pass away

from cancer one month after this picture was taken.

Each sunset matters, even the glorious final one when 

we go home to heaven.

Reflections at the Beach

Week sixteen

A Sunset Ending 

Psalm 113:3

      I can't think of a better way to close out a day at the beach than simply walking hand in hand with those that you love as the sun sets near you. It might sound overly romantic or somewhat cliche, but nothing can disturb the perfection of a sunset. Nothing can compare with a sunset near the shore.  The typically blue sky is radiated with Hues of orange, pink, and purple. The Master Artist chooses to change the palette of His colors He uses. Each brushstroke reminds us to magnify His name. The final few rays stretch the heavens to remind us of someone far greater than us. It's incredible that the most important star in our solar system which resides over 93 million miles away can have such an effect on us. Humanity since its creation has been in awe of it. Sunsets also remind us of the beauty in endings. Endings don't always seem beautiful though. I'm sure we've all watched movies or read books where the ending wasn't quite what we expected. Possibly it was anti-climatic or disappointing. But the glory of a sunset reminds us that endings can be beautiful, but can be difficult. 

      Most of us have adopted the picturesque image of every story ending with the words 'they lived happily ever after.' The idea that happy endings are etched in stone is nothing more than wishful thinking. Every story has an ending, but maybe not the happy one that we had planned. What do we do when the relationship that we planned falls apart? What do we do when the dream job closes? What do we do when a doctor's visit changes our entire outlook? Or when our spouse gets cancer? Or loved ones endure dementia where they don't even know who they are ? Or what do we do when the college we wanted to go to says no? None of that was in 'the cards. ' We didnt plan for that to be the ending. We would have never wrote the story in that fashion. What do we do when our happy ending forces a new beginning?  The psalmist wrote "From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD'S name is to be praised (Psalm 113:3)." How can we praise God when disappointment and discouragement strike our hearts deeply? How do we thank God when we are mired in the fog of confusion? How do we praise God when an ending tragically causes us to say goodbye to those we love the most? We're able to praise God because He holds every tomorrow, the expected and the unexpected. We're able to praise God because the ultimate ending is to be with Him forever through Jesus Christ. Each of our temporal endings on planet Earth fluctuates, but our Eternal ending is a glorious promise to live with Jesus forever. Maybe you are stuck right now living in the disappointment of what could have been. Maybe you are carrying feelings of bitterness because the ending is not what you expected. But don't allow the bitterness to take your eyes off of the Lord and to praise Him. To give Him thanks for each ending, happy or not. And give Him the ultimate Glory that the ending of your story is His story. 

The Disharmony of Anxiety: October 24th Devotional

The Disharmony of Anxiety

Matthew 6:34

October 24th Devotional

      On this day in Berlin, 1819, Felix Mendelssohn played in his first public concert at the age of nine.  Felix was born in 1809, one of four children to a wealthy Jewish family in Germany.  The Mendelssohn family believed in providing the best education and opportunities for their children.  They would often invite various professors or musicians to their home.  All four of their children showed interest in the area of art or music.  Felix’s sister Fanny would become a great pianist (which was rare during that time).  Felix started to learn piano from his mother at the age of six.  He quickly excelled beyond the ability of his mother.  He would receive more formal training, often surpassing his teachers.  His family quickly realized that he was a child prodigy, but they did not want to exploit their son or try to capitalize on his ability.  They begrudgingly allowed him to perform publicly in a chamber music concert.  The audience was awed by his ability.  The family would then invite others to Sunday concerts in their home.  Felix became a household name.  Between the ages of 12-14, he wrote 12 stringed symphonies.  The bulk of his famous works were composed before he turned twenty.  His most famous composition would be setting music to Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”  Most of you reading this are unknowingly aware of this overture.  Brides come down the aisle to the “wedding march” which is a portion of that wonderful piece.  His musical ability would grow to playing the piano, the organ, composing, and even conducting.  He would also become quite an accomplished painter.  His fame would spread rapidly.  Large audiences would fill music halls all across Europe as Mendelssohn toured.  During this time of traveling, Mendelssohn started to suffer from the effects of overworking and anxiety.  His anxiety started to take effect on his physical health.  Tragically Felix died at the age of 38 after suffering multiple strokes.  To this day he is still considered one of the best, if not the greatest musician of the Romantic period.

      Anxiety takes its toll on everyone, even people like Felix Mendelssohn.  Sometimes we are good at masking it but nonetheless, anxiety causes the heart to race and the mind to doubt.  It is a spiritual issue that plagues all of us; it does not discriminate based on age, gender, social status, or skin color.  Anxiety is one of the only problems in our world that affects us mentally, spiritually, and physically.  To worry is human, so how do we battle a beast that has waged war on humanity since the introduction of sin?  In Matthew 6:34 we find Jesus saying “So do not worry about tomorrow.”  Those are simple words for our problem with anxiety.  Worry doesn’t stop simply because we tell it to stop.  I worry about how to stop worrying.  Jesus gives us the ultimate remedy for anxiety and stress in the previous verse, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness…”  Anxiety often hits me when I take my eyes off Jesus.  Stress takes me under like the waves of the ocean when I stop taking life’s circumstances to Jesus.  Jesus says to seek His kingdom first, to seek Him first.  Next time you feel that tension rising in your chest, that tightness in your jaw, run to Jesus…seek Jesus.  Simply give it to Him.  He wants the things that burden you and worry you.  Give up worry and give in to Jesus.

What's the Rush: October 6th Devotional

 What's the Rush

James 1:2-3

October 6th Devotional

     On this day in 1960, CBS premiered their newest sitcom, the Andy Griffith Show.  The concept was first pitched on the Danny Thomas Show as a special comedic act featuring Andy Griffith.  The audience reacted so positively that Thomas helped create and direct the new show.   The show focused on the adventures of a widowed sheriff named Andy Taylor who lived in the tiny little town of Mayberry North Carolina.  Living with Andy would be his Aunt Bee and his boy Opie.  Other main characters in the show included the incomparable Don Knotts who played Deputy Barney Fife, Goober and his cousin Gomer, Floyd the Barber, Howard Sprague, Emmett the repairman, Otis the town drunk, Clara Edwards, and my personal favorite, Ernest T. Bass.  Each show opened with the “Fishing Hole” monologue where Andy and Opie head to the lake to do some fishing.   Who can forget the simplistic whistle?  The show would continue for eight seasons, totaling 249 episodes (all of which included Andy), and winning countless awards along the way.  The show was always in the top ten for TV rankings and in its final season it was rated number one.  The show would create a spin-off, Gomer Pyle USMC, and would continue yet another three seasons as Mayberry RFD.  It also went on to produce a made-for-TV movie in 1986.

      My favorite episode is called “Man in a Hurry.”  It follows the story of Malcolm Tucker, a wealthy and important businessman from Charlotte whose car breaks down two miles outside of town.   Mr. Tucker enters the sleepy little burg of Mayberry with high hopes of getting his car fixed quickly only to find out that the town basically shuts down on Sundays.  People take the day off to relax and spend time with family.  Malcolm wasn’t even able to get a phone call out because the Mendlebright sisters would tie up the line all day.  Mr. Tucker was frustrated and fumed trying to get someone to fix his car; he would even exclaim “I want my car fixed now, today, this very minute.”  He struggled with relaxing, he struggled with taking a break, and he struggled with being patient.  I’m reminded of James 1:2-3, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.”  Malcom struggled in the face of his trial and his trial proved that he was bankrupt in the department of patience.  Trials often do that.  They put us into the crucible of God to produce godly character.  Trials often touch on how much patience we have, or for some of us, me included, the lack thereof.  None of us like moments that try our endurance, but they are necessary for us to develop spiritual maturity.  Instead of getting anxious and worried maybe we just need to disconnect and simply wait on God.  Mr. Tucker found peace simply sitting on the front porch of Andy’s house peeling an apple.  God invites you onto His front porch to sit down and take your load off.  He invites you in your trial to relax, to rest, and to trust Him.  Don’t allow your patience to be a casualty of life’s pressures.